Death Note Parody
by wickedawesome12
Summary: Many know and love the manga/anime, Death Note, but very few know what really happened.


**A/N: Oh dear, I can't believe I'm writing this. I honestly have no idea how it will turn out, but I suppose we'll see.**

**I'm sorry if I get some of the plot wrong, that's either done on purpose, or I forgot (I haven't read Death Note in a while.)**

**I don't own Death Note.**

Most people believe that Light Yagami was a nice, good-natured teenager.

Boy, were they wrong.

You see, Light Yagami had a secret, a really good secret, too. A secret that he would never tell anyone under any circumstances.

"Hey! You there! Wanna hear a secret?"

"Uh, sure."

"Well, TOO BAD! AHAHAHAHA!"

This crazy secret started out one day when Light Yagami was sitting at his desk, wishing that he could become God of the New World someday. He wasn't sure how, but it would be convenient if magic office supplies started falling from the sky.

"OMG, a notebook!"

"Light, pay attention, and stop day-dreaming about becoming God of the New World!"

"But teacher, it's an important plot-point!" Light whined.

"…Very well. Continue."

After school ended, Light ran over to the notebook, which obviously has magic powers that can kill people if you write their names in it.

"AHAHAHAHA, I shall become God of the New World with this! ALL WILL BOW DOWN TO ME!1111ONEONEONE"

And so, Light skipped off merrily home.

But before he could start the whole God-of-the-New-World shenanigans, a shinigami appeared.

"FEAR ME, MORTAL! FEEEEAAAAARRRRR MEEEEEEEEE!"

"Dude, I'm not scared of you."

The shinigami looked upset.

"Why not?"

"Well, you followed me home, it wasn't much of a surprise."

"You noticed that?"

"No, I just thought that the giant _thing_ behind me was a figment of my imagination," Light said, smirking to himself. He was just too cool.

And so Light decided to write criminal's names into his Death Note. Unfortunately, the greatest minds of the world were catching on. Some scary looking FBI agents from America started stalking Light.

"I must do something!" Light declared. And so he killed all of the FBI agents. Nice going, Light.

But all that did was make him an even bigger suspect. L the detective was starting to close in on Light, which meant that Light had to do something.

"I got it!" Light yelled triumphantly. "I'll join the Kira investigation, that'll keep me under the radar!"

But little did Light know that he did not have to find the Kira investigation, they found them.

"I am L."

Silence.

"Gasp! No flippity-floppity way! You're L? You? Really? Because really, when a mysterious man sits next to you with no shoes on, it's _never _an interesting plot-point!"

"Geez, could you loosen up on the sarcasm?" L looked hurt that his big appearance was overlooked. "Anyway, we need your brains (inner L: Ha, like Light Yagami has brains) to solve the Kira case. And to make this more interesting, we shall have the most epic tennis matches ever to be played!" (Insert L Super Hero pose here)

One Tennis Match of Epics Proportions Later:

"Okay, now you can join the Kira case! But we call ourselves the Flying Teletubbies' Association in secret. Don't ask why," said L. "You can start tomorrow. Just ride along with your dad."

The Kira Case Team (or should I say, the Flying Teletubbies) was quick to trust Light. He seemed to be a likeable person.

"OMG, Light you brought doughnuts! You're the coolest!"

But L didn't trust him.

"Matsuda don't eat those! They're *gulp* sugar-free doughnuts."

Plus, Light ships FinnxQuinn on Glee, and you know those people can't be trusted.

But L just couldn't find any proof that Light was Kira. Then, a miracle happened.

"Hello, everyone! I'm the dumb blonde of the series, who helps Kira pave the roads of life to greatness!"

But it turned out that Misa was just a nuisance, and no real help to Light at all. In fact, all she did was help L back Light into a corner.

"Light! SAAAVVVVVEEEEE MEEEEEEE!"

"No, Misa. Just, no."

Silly Misa.

After a crazy turn of events, Light ended up in prison, with no memory of the Death Note at all. But strangely, criminals were still dying.

L had to release Light, but still wanted to keep an eye on him. A very _close _eye on him.

"L, why do we have to do this?"

"Well, Light, half of the fan-fictions on wouldn't exist if we didn't chain our wrists together."

"I still don't find it necessary."

Eventually, all leads pointed to a business called Yotsuba, specifically a very scary group of men. Their names, sadly, are confidential. But they were known as Mr. Fish, Legolas, Mr. Clean, Jesse Mccartney, The Eyebrow, Chill Dog (he D.J.s on the weekends), Mr. Grumpy-pants (not his first choice), and Brobi Wan Kenobi. Together, they make Team Yotsuba!

"Well," Mr. Fish started, "If I was Kira, which I'm not, of course, I would kill Zac Efron. Again, this is all hypothetical!"

"But, why Zac Efron?" Legolas asked.

"Why, he's my, I mean, _Kira's _competition, of course!"

"I think we should kill Justin Beiber!" Jesse Mccartney declared.

"I thought _you_ were Justin Beiber!" said Mr. Clean.

"No, I'm Jesse Mccartney, get it right!"

"I don't see the difference," said Mr. Gumpy-pants, grumpily.

"That's not the point!" Mr. Fish said. "The point is, I, I mean, Kira, wants to kill Zac Efron, so we should do it, right?"

"Right!" everyone said.

A few hours later and across the Pacific Ocean:

*Cough cough*

"No, Zefron! Don't go into the light! You just gotta bop to the top!"

"I can't… do it! You can bet on it!"

"Come on, Zefron, we're all in this together!"

"Tell my potato… I wish I could eat her…" *dies*

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Back in Japan:

"It appears that Zac Efron was killed by Kira," L said.

"I don't know, L," Light said, "It looks like he just choked on his food, there could be a number of explanations, and we shouldn't rule out any of them."

"Silly Light, why would the author put in Zefron dying if it isn't important to the story?" L said, pointing above him.

"…Point taken."

"How could you guys talk about this so freely?" Matsuda said, sniffling. He was Zac's biggest fan.

"I know how you feel, Matsuda," Light said. "It was hard on me to lose my twin like that-"

"Wait, Zac Efron is your twin?" Chief Yagami said.

"Well, yeah, the only difference beween the two of us is that I'm an anime character. You really should know that, dad.

"Son, you were born in the eighties. Those were crazy times."

"Anyway," L said, "Since Kira killed Zac Efron, I think I know who our top suspect is."

"Who?" everyone asked.

"Justin Beiber."

Collective gasp!

And so they all flew to Canada and kidnapped Justin Beiber. Unfortunately, Justin Beiber wasn't intelligent enough to be Kira. On the bright side, they did the world a favor. Crime rates dropped, world hunger ended, and humanity has finally found a clan of unicorns.

"Well, if it's not Justin Beiber, who is it?" L pondered aloud.

"I think I know," said Light from the computer. "I can't find a name, but his codename seems to be Mr. Fish. He blogs everyday about his arch nemesis, Zac Efron, and how he wishes he could choke on something and die.

"Light, you're a genius!"

"Why yes, yes I am!"

"Quick, to the chopper!"

A few hours of Helicopter fun-time later:

"Mr. Fish, we have you surrounded!"

"I surrender!" said Mr. Fish. "Here, take the Death Note, just take it!"

"Okey Dokey!" Light said, skipping over to take the Death Note.

And suddenly, he remembered. He remembered being Kira, he remembered where all of those apples went, but most of all, he remembered his arch nemesis, L. When L wasn't looking, Light opened his watch and started writing down Mr. Fish's name.

"NOOOOO, MR. FISH DIED!"

"AHAHAHAHA!"

"… Light, why are you laughing?"

"Oh, I'm just happy we caught Kira!"

"Flying Teletubbies, we have a situation," L said gravely. "It appears that one Kira killed the other Kira. But on the bright side, we have a Death Note! Now, let's test it on someone."

And so they killed their favorite test subject, Justin Beiber.

"Well, it appears to have worked!" L said.

But Light was sad, for he was a closet Justin Beiber fan. And as a member of the Justin Beiber fan-club, he had to kill L for revenge.

"Guys! I know who is-" *dies*

"NOOOOOOO! L!"

After L died, a ton of boring things happened, so I'll just sum it up for you in a few lines.

"DELETE! DELETE!"

"Mikami, you're creepy…"

"I am Near, and I am albino."

"I am Mello, and I like chocolate!"

"I am Matt, and I like stripes."

And now back to the story!

"Light, we know you're Kira," Near said.

"No, how did you find out?"

"We read your diary, stupid."

"Curse you, Near and your albino genius-ness!"

"It's okay, my God, I shall help you!"

"Go away, Mikami."

"Ha, but jokes on you!" Light said. "I have a little tiny paper in my watch! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Light, just go away!" Ryuk moaned. He then proceeded to write Light's name in the Death Note. Light died, and everyone lived happily ever after. The End.

**A/N: As I said before I didn't exactly go by the part, and I missed a few plot points. Ah well, that took long enough as it is. I hope you enjoyed, and constructive criticism is appreciated.**


End file.
